Friday, 29 June 2018

Loneliness after 50 - and I should know!

Silence arrests flight, so that in its refuge,
the need to flee the chaos of noise diminishes.
We let the world creep closer, we drop to our knees,
as if to let the heart, like a small animal,
get its legs on the ground.

Thursday, 28 June 2018

Alone on Skye – Solitude vs Loneliness (To be continued)

These last few days on the utterly beautiful Isle of Skye have really made me start to understand the difference between loneliness and solitude.

Loneliness – a feeling that I am often unable to shake whether I am lying in my bed on my own or in a room full of family or friends. A sense of doom and unworthiness that can wash over me, if I let it, at any time of the day and in any situation. A compulsion to think the worst, that it will never end, that I will become old, and that I’ll die alone. That I must be ultimately unloveable and unworthy of company let alone love. A leaning towards over thinking, to tightening my breathing, to feel the potential threat of any experience. To feel dread, darkness and depression.

Solitude – a chosen situation, where the silence became utterly golden, filled, ironically, with birdsong and the lapping of the Sound of Sleat against the pebble shore not 10 yards from the front door of Cruard Cottage. A lone walk out across the causeway once the tide had gone out, to get closer to a seal that was basking, daily, on a small circle of rocks, in the morning sunlight. Feeling utterly at one with nature, held by the power of the natural sounds and smells, and by the feel of the earth beneath my feet. To feel the softness of the air on my face, to breath fully in and out of my whole body, to really hear the detail in the sounds of nature and to feel totally supported by the earth just as it is right now.

My current view is of a tiny island totally cut off by the sea now that the tide is in. I dream of living somewhere like this, on my own but with a few friends in a local community, maybe with good, older friends visiting now and again to share in the majesty of an island just like this. Becoming pretty much self-sufficient, growing fruit and vegetables in the fertile land that is the Sleat Peninsula, collecting eggs from chickens that I’d like to keep, every morning.

To be continued...

Thursday, 7 June 2018

Can I help you? Can you help me?

Can I help you?

Maybe you too are lonely or dissatisfied with your lot, and the lot of the world as you know it.

What can I do online to help you?
What is it that you most need from an online forum like this?

Social connection is scientifically proven to increase our lifespans and make us healthier, physically and emotionally. We are in fact hardwired to need good relationships in our lives in order that we can avoid the feelings of loneliness, depression and anxiety that can develop if we feel socially isolated. It is the quality of our personal relationships that matter, not the number or them, and today we live in increasingly polarised social groups, perhaps never meeting other people that we feel we can be ourselves with, open up to, rely on and care for as we hope to be cared for in return.

I am hoping that this website will offer the opportunity to make true connections with people, whether that be virtually or in person. We can share the problems we have as well as the skills, talents and creativity that is in all of us. I would like for us to start up a number of groups that allow us to share common interests, whether that be a live recipe sharing, a fishing group or a group that practices some kind of mindfulness techniques that can ease our pain and suffering, allowing us to accept ourselves as we are and feel worthy of making firm friendships that nurture and soothe us.

Let me know if you have any ideas, suggestions or would like to be involved in anyway. you can comment here or send me a private email at

Join me and let’s start to make a difference in our increasingly isolating virtual world.

Can you help me?

Are you interested in helping me get this project of the ground?
I want to build a website where people can connect and potentially meet face to face if they choose to. A place where we can share common interests either by messaging or some kind of online groups where we can see each other as in Skype or Zoom meet-ups.
I am OK with designing the aesthetic side of such a website, but wouldn't know where to start in terms of technicalities, online security and safety. Are you technically inclined and interested in helping me make a difference in these ever isolating times we find ourselves living in?